i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
