i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
