Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
