i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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