you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
