I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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