she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
