covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
