i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
