dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
