Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize