I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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