She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
