Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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