Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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