Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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