I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
