Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i came on her dog
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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