I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
