summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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