dude i'm inner monologue high
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
