My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
