2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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