im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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