i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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