I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
