you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
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Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
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He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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