What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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