I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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