Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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