I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
