I wanna bring you to show and tell
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
