Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
