Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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