I'm gonna have a badass scar
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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