its not stalking. its research.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
