we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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