i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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