careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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