i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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