Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
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If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
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I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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