He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
