Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
