and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize