You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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