I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
