Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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