a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
