Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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