if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Even my vagina gasped.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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