have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
