Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
