I feel like I'm in dance class right now
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
