Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
