Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
