Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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