Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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