Swine flu. Run for my life!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
