plz talk dirty to me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
