is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize