You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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