There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
