school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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