I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
