These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
